Circadian Tremors

by The Act of Estimating as Worthless

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04:38
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03:59
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02:24
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05:08

credits

released 24 February 2013

On this recording, The Act of Estimating as Worthless is:

Zoe Grant - Guitar, Vocals
Matthew Van Asselt - Guitar, Vocals
Mike Ditrio - Drums
Lily Holgate - Violin
Maria Hadge - Cello
John Cummings - Trumpet
Pete Olynciw - Upright and Electric Bass

all songs and arrangements are by The Act of Estimating as Worthless

recorded by Mike Ditrio mainly at the Seaside Lounge in Brooklyn, NY
with additional recording in our basement, NY.
mastered by Mitch Rackin

a vinyl edition will be released by Mt. Home Arts, Broken World Media, and The Act of Estimating As Worthless. (MTH007/BWM019)

digital album courtesy of Mt. Home Arts and Birthquake Records (BQR014)

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Track Name: Circadian Tremors
pinstripe dirty grime of daylight lies
watching me sleep, nighttime’s like an ocean deep like the ocean
(dark waters)
its getting hard to see where you’ve gone.
how long have i been waiting?
“far too long,” says my heart tacked up on the wall
so stand up and say a toast to my bones
to my bones and my skin and my porcelain bones

drink through the night cause we already know
tomorrow will end anyways

i survive off of cheap red wine the voices try but they cannot find me

i dive head first
into the parapets
made by your ribs they expand when you breath -
to you this comes easy but not so for me.

i’m so sad
i have nothing to show for my broken bones
it may not be over,
but i’m coming home.

pencil lines draw a path to my window
where telephone poles crush the leaves of the oak
and i tried to purge you forget what i loved
but i never thought that this would be so hard.
i trusted you that you would never leave
but believe me i know now that trust comes too easy;
this self-proclaimed ocean you said would be shallow
but waters up over my head and i’m drowning.
each night i dream of driving of driving
the road so appealing to my stagnant being
but puddles meet puddles, and turn into sea
(this sea i know is far too deep)

my skeletal heart is shattered
you’ve got my blood on your hands dripping down to your toes
so stand up and say a toast to my bones,
my quivering bones now withered and old.
Track Name: Algae
algae green lake water, still wet, thick sweat sticks to my skin, keeps it from sinking in, a barrier just like the mountains around me keep the land from the sun, too hot, too bright, at night don’t feel so weak but we all still go to sleep,
me cause i don’t feel at home when i am awake here.

and i’ll shake this water off me
and i’ll wipe this algae off me
and i’ll scrape away my skin
and sand down my bones till they’re smooth again

you’ve made me who i am.

a barrier also keeps me from you
where your water flows still so river blue
and your skin
(probably soft as its always been)
still tries to keep river out and bones in.

but river is far keener than lake
always waiting till its right, until skin is not so tight
before sneaking quickly in to make a home beneath your skin
and erode your bones until they begin to slowly crumble

and i’ll shake this water off me
and i’ll wipe this algae off me
and i’ll scrape away my skin
and sand down my bones till they’re smooth again

you’ve made me who i am again.
Track Name: Who You Are
with my eyes closed i can’t tell who you are
i can only tell who you are not
and with my fists balled i can’t tell a thing

(i can’t feel a thing).
Track Name: Fireworks
we all came here to make sure
we wouldn’t forget
we only came here to make sure
we wouldn’t feel left out
it might have been easier
had we just stayed in
stayed home
gone to bed.
we all wanted to anyway
or at least i did.

had there been no fireworks at all
the camera flashes would have been bright enough
they would have been loud enough
they would have been bright enough
they would have been loud enough

they would have been enough of a spectacle
we only came here to make sure we wouldn’t forget.

its funny how in a crowd full of so many people
you can still feel so distant
and its funny that whatever we’re celebrating is so intangible
and i’m not even from here,
so i don’t feel any pride

whatever that feels like.
Track Name: Popolopen
popolopen open up a token for my luck
and whats the fucking chance i'll get a paltry bite to eat tonight
these pleats wrap round my thighs so tight for reasons that i do not like

i've tried your ways, the stairs you gave to heaven's stone grey hellish gates, i waited and i watched as you dug my grave.

brisk winds and cloudy haze no space for all of my mistaken steps i've taken walking up
throw hands up, arms up

below lies failed truncated path take bath in sun and cold
old news now popolopen righteous warrior has spoken
feet leave empty not quite knowing where it ends
oh popolopen where it ends.
Track Name: Black Fly
don't forget my name
for i'll be coming round again.
blank faces in blank landscapes
and green hills and pastures wait
for my skin tight meditation
(at which i am incapable)
so i return to self mutilation
of which i know too well.

so hold me up older wise one,
hold me up to your shoulder
break the icicles over my head
rid me of this boredom 
and if i die for you will you die for me too?

sun drops on my skin today
kiss me and say that you love me the same
as you did on that day
that we sat there on swings until
some time in the morning
when the sunlight killed something
i think i knew when you warned me
but i still cut off your mouth,
and you cut off mine too,
and i wept for you i wept for you
but for me you weren’t able to

and now i just want to die
but i would miss those warm aestival nights.

so hold me up older wise one,
hold me up to your shoulder
break the icicles over my head
break the icicles.
and if i die for you will you die for me too?
if i die for you
will you die for me too?